i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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