before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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