I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize