How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
