My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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