Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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