no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
