my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
