i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
