i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
