Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
