I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
