Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
