my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
