I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
