Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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