She is in my trunk
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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