She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
