i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
