I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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