I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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