You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
