They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
