You made me cry and you don't even care
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
