the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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