So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
