Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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