I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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