yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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