i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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