I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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