your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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