Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
