I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
