Swine flu. Run for my life!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
