As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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