i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
