She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
