I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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