Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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