I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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