While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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