Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
