Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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