She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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