I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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