so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
