I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
