I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
