are you so shy because you have an std?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
