He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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