someone threw a dead crab at me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
