i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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