But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
