sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to fling myself into the sun
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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