I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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