I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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