YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
