Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you would pick up someone in the library
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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