dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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