He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
