Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
