After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
