apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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