I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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