Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You made out with two different species that night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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