i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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