i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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