So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize