I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
