ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
