I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
