Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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