god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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