I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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